Poetic Antic {Page 99}

Out of Place

What did you say to me

Back when we weren't in hell

When the clouds are whiter

And the sky was brighter

I was suffocating in second hand smoke

You were huffing and puffing

Didn't you notice my blood shot eyes?

I let go

Every minute ever made

I try hard to concentrate

But my pureness you filtered

Now I enjoy nothing.

Poetic Antic {Page 98}

Hotline

It's so hard to concentrate

When all I see is you

It's so hard to to think straight

When the view is askew

All the cubicles are aligned

All the phones are ringing aloud

My attention is focused on you

Good thing it doesn't show through

I used to think you're stupid

I used to hate your guts

But when I got to know you

I had to take a couple of steps back

You confidence is what captivates me

Your humor needs a bit of work

No matter what I say or do

You're always a gentleman, it's true

I appreciate the times you waited for me,

Held the door, and smiled at me,

These little things you do nonchalantly

I put a little malice for my fantasy

How I would love to spend more time with you

Starting as friends, then best friends, maybe even lovers

I'm getting ahead of myself, woe

I'm content even if my name is all you know

Poetic Antic {Page 97}

A Little Bit

I was played and cheated

I was hurt, but I didn't cry

Adjusted myself a little bit

Moving on with my adventures

Watching the streets stand still

Every car keeps rolling, everything is moving

It's going slow and it's going fast,

Everyone is going forward all the time

Put your hands together

Reach out to the sky

Step up, stand tall, smile wide

Lift your life, start fresh

Kiss me, leave me

I'm through with your goodbyes

Poetic Antic {Page 96}

How To

Let me tell you a little secret

Lend me your ears, zip your mouth

Don't be surprised, keep your poker face

Hurry up before they return

I hear footsteps approaching

I'm a little paranoid, you observed

I'm going to tell you a little secret

Please don't betray my trust

There is something that you do not know

Till now I never really told anyone

It's eating me inside like a gnawing worm

I want to know how to confess it to you

Poetic Antic {Page 95}

Earnest Living

The ice has already melted

The milk turned as sour as grapes

My purse is empty and bare

But I'm still having fun

Today is another day

To make my mark on the world

Today I'm feeling fine

I am making it work

You may not stop me

You may not care for me

I reach for my goals

I make myself proud!

Poetic Antic {Page 94}

Nineteen Years and Four Days Old

I have been blessed this I know

Showered with love, gifts, and toys

My family is always beside me

They hug me tight and kiss me sweetly

I long for the days of the past,

But I look forward to the days ahead

It's been rough, twisted, and discouraging,

But I'm still standing, loving, and breathing

I've always been proud of myself

I've always hoped for the best

My dreams, I make them come through

With help, I'm growing even stronger

I still have habits I need to break

I'm working on myself still

I'm progressing day by day

I need to learn more, earn more

I love my mother, my father, and my sister

I love myself even more they say

That's okay, they understand me best

They know I'm forever myself.

Poetic Antic {Page 93}

Home

Hold on a minute friend,

It's boring, it's stuffy

Leave the room with me

It's pouring, it's flooding

I'm not a coffee drinker

I'm a blood-filled dreamer

I like to worry in my sleep

Do you like being with me?

I hate the sound of sirens

I hate the gnawing worm

I sleep in a spring mattress

It makes my back hurt

Turn the light on or off

Doesn't really matter to me

Whichever choice I make

I'd live with it, bet on it

My rose colored purse

My bag full of curses

Receipts from my purchases

Where do I put the coins?

Where do I stand in this room?

Where should I lay my troubles?

Who should I confide my secrets to?

How does trust work?

I am curious, I am tired

I need some sleep, I need to work

I want to rest my head

Switch it off for a while

Live life the way I want to

No regrets, no regrets

I'm happy, you're happy

I'm blessed and thankful

Poetic Antic {Page 92}

Ill Logic

I could give you ten thousand excuses

To why I do the things I do

To why I refuse to stay with you

To why I can live like this without you

I could give you ten thousand excuses,

But the truth is I am dying inside

Surely I am not worthy of your company

Leave me be, alone in misery

Poetic Antic {Page 91}

Marshmallows

Sweet. White. Edible.

Soft. Cylindrical. Delectable.

Everything is fine in Mallowland.

Someone give me a hand.

Poetic Antic {Page 90}

Can't Control

Please don't stain my new leopard sheets

Put your dirty feet off my pillows

If you spill your drink on my plushies

You'll make my blood boil.

Poetic Antic {Page 89}

Ill Fate

I feel strange holding your hand

Somehow it seems this will end soon

I can feel your nervousness the entire day

Why do you deny there's something wrong?

Poetic Antic {Page 88}

Anymore Than This

Please turn your back

Please move on from me

Live your life free

Don't try hard for me anymore

Poetic Antic {Page 87}

Hey Mister!

I'm back

What did you do wrong?

The ants were terminated

He didn't have time to give her

I think they took it with them, they possess

Poetic Antic {Page 86}

On My Way

Shoved my things in a bag

Grabbed my comb

Checked myself on the mirror

Twice I knocked over things

But I'm still standing strong

I hear the cab honking

The busy street still whining

Hurry up, you're late

Everyone's just early

Closed the door

Locked the gate

Wait a minute, where's my kiss

Say goodbye, surely I'll be missed

There's a lot going on

In my mind, a tempest

Stirring and plotting

What? I don't know

Reasons, feelings, cravings

To hell with life

I have nothing at all

No home, no heart, no booze

Been told to answer quick

When you call me, you're my king

Yeah, I got the message

I'm on my way.

Poetic Antic {Page 85}

I'm Aware Of Love Tonight

I'm aware of love tonight

The intoxicating scent that fills the room

A magical moment that passed me by

Brings nothing but sadness in my eyes

Poetic Antic {Page 84}

Indecency

Brimming with passion for success

Stripped of knowledge, I'm thriving

I work hard, filled with optimism

I break down discouraged and open

Poetic Antic {Page 83}

Quiet Urge

The shaking of your knees

Relating to your wavering feelings

Robbed of courage in your heart

Old love fades away

Poetic Antic {Page 82}

Outlet

Turn your life around

I can hear the rushing sound

The delicacy of unbalanced affairs

The intimacy of forbidden cares

Poetic Antic {Page 81}

Demise

It's just a lie, a lie

There's no truth behind it

If memory serves me right

I could just forget about it

Somehow I find, I find myself

Thinking of your eyes

And the way you use them

To make me shiver and smile

I'm so high above the sky

So happy I could die alive

I fly high, higher than the clouds

I look down below, you're gone

Poetic Antic {Page 80}

Nails

Shut tight

Sealed close

Tight corners

Close the doors

Corners of love

Doors of Shame

Love burned

Shame and innocence

Burned and chopped

Innocence is bliss

Chopped like liver

Bliss is what I want

Liver spread is tasty

Want to love you is wasteful.

Poetic Antic {Page 79}

Thesis

It used to have a purpose, but not it stands in solitude

Idly blocking your way, breaking your solemn concentration.

No matter how hard you try you won't be able to resist

The temptation of thinking about it, seeing it, dreaming of it.

Its neon orange brightness swallows you and makes you feel insecure

About yourself, one that has purpose, and now that you noticed it,

You no longer have a purpose.

It conquered you and haunted you.

It won.

Poetic Antic {Page 78}

Light

I am blind to reality

Obsessed with my almighty dreams

I fade into a hopeful world

Awakened by painful truths

I live in unending humiliation

What brought about this misconception?

My head floats in the clouds

My heart filled with doubts

Malicious intentions

Did't catch my attention

Poetic Antic {Page 77}

Song

Caught in a lovely dance

You've put me in a trance

You're difficult to be with

You always tell me mean things

Every time I'm with you I'm hurting

Every time I'm in pain, you're laughing

Serve me up some love, babe

Mesmerize me with your masculinity

tell me something I'd enjoy

If you tell me you love me, I'd rejoice

I love you, I hate you, it doesn't make sense

You taunt and tease me

You kiss and hug me

We'll be together in the end

Give me your all

I don't care if I fall

Just leave the rest to me

With you, I'll be shouting with glee

Poetic Antic {Page 76}

Lead

Love is an illusion

A shear veil of confusion

Love is a mirage

A feeling that will lead to sabotage

Poetic Antic {Page 75}

Story of The Moon

Looking at the reflection in the mirror

The sadness and pain it shows is piercing

How do you stop the heart from mourning

When it is broken up into tiny pieces?

You see no fountain of blood on the floor

Nor do you see any sign of gore,

But there is a heavy feeling afloat

The screeching wails of love long lost

Evil deeds and wicked feats abound

Ruining your heart's pure light

You've sworn to love strong and everlasting,

But the love you had was an illusion, a fantasy, a lie

Wake from your dream dear heart

Cast away that poisonous love you've made

Free yourself from company and remain

Forever in the darkness and solitude prevail

Poetic Antic {Page 74}

Virus

If you can't feel happiness with me

Don't let the door stop you

It's not like you haven't been hurt before

Do you not mind being in pain?

Are you a masochist?

Before you go, do me a favor

Leave me with a kiss

Something to validate our time together

In return?

You'll forget my name soon

But I will still love you

When you leave me

Don’t forget my name

When you rush out

Don’t come back again

The day you leave me

I’ll cry and cry again

I’ll feel betrayed and cold

You’ll avoid my company

The love we had will fade

The memories will dissipate

When you leave me don’t forget our love

Joined together by the red string of fate

You don’t see me that way

We will meet again someday

Don’t forget my love

Don’t forget you always had me

I wanted us to be together,

But you did not want me

You betrayed my love and I can’t take it

I love you, but you forgot about me

I love you, but you never cared

Our memories reduced to a fantasy

I hope you’ll be happy

I hope you’ll never regret this

I will move on with my life

Your love was not mine to have..

Poetic Antic {Page 73}

Distance

I haven't had enough of you

And you're already moving on

What else can I do?

Why am I so in love you?

I run your errands

I do what you tell me to

And still I'm no better

What is it you want me to do?

I see all the things you do

Even if you deny it to me

I have eyes and ears, you see?

Why can't I be a little more clever?

And I keep on being stupid

To keep on staying with you

Because I can't live without you,

Can't breathe when I'm near you

Poetic Antic {Page 72}

Truth

If I could drag the past back

I would have done so in a heartbeat

It is so fascinating the multiple chances

But it is impossible, the past is dead

Poetic Antic {Page 71}

Spring

Splatter, splatter blood in the walls

Blood smeared on the couch, the piano, and the door

Blood spilled in a blue moon

Shining, shining grotesquely tonight

The wailing wind comforts me

The sweet resounding voice of death

It calls upon this wretched failure

Inviting her to a life of forever

Poetic Antic {Page 70}

Death By Letters

What I managed to obtained

Was wiped down with tears

What I managed to obliterate

Was my future, my dream, and myself

I was dazzled by the glittering hope

I lost track of what I was aiming for

The stakes are higher than ever

I am drowning in confusion, lost in the commotion

My head is spiraling to nothing

My hands are shivering in fear

What have I to show you now?

What am I living for?

Poetic Antic {Page 69}

Steam

Didn't you hear me the last time we spoke?

Didn't I tell you over and over again

Not to hope, not to wait, not to believe?

Why didn't you listen then?

Didn't this happen to you before as well?

I was there , I know you were hurt

So why do you want to go through it again?

Was the pain not enough?

You always are so desperate

I assure you, I'm going to be here for you

You only need me and no one else

This way you'll always be happy

Poetic Antic {Page 68}

Seven

Embraced by the dark

I lift my head, searching

Looking for something to hold

Leaving my memories in the cold

I listen for my faintly beating heart

It's hard to see, why is it empty?

Where did the light wander to?

What am I suppose to do?

Poetic Antic {Page 67}

Scandal

My hair is flowing with the wind

I'm walking past the last memory we had

I've been good at playing all your games

There's many things I've forgotten about

I've reached out for your hand more than once

Stretched my patience to extreme lengths

You didn't even look back when I called

Maybe I'm being dramatic, who knows?

Poetic Antic {Page 66}

Hold On Me

I get excited

My attention divided

I see myself acting impulsive

When will I shape up?

I fear

Somebody get me

Monopolize my time

Hold me tightly, don't let go

Promise me forever

Break my heart, break it hard

Keep all the pieces to yourself

Hide it and don't share it

Be polite

Witty, charming, and nice

Love me for all that I am

Leave me somewhere safe, I depend

Poetic Antic {Page 65}

Kick

The love you have for me

The love you gave to me

It isn't enough, you see

Not enough to make you stay

You can't stay beside me

You won't stay near me

I have to set you free

My heart is breaking, you freak

I can feel the air grow colder

As you go your merry way

I won't cry, no I won't die

Even if you don't say Hi

You blond-haired monster faker

Ocean-bleached curly haired fucker

One of kind orange colored eyes

It's only a matter of time, you crass

Poetic Antic {Page 64}

Family

There are cheers and jeers

Shouts, fights, and lies

There are friends and foes

But in the end I have my family

My family keeps me grounded

During weekends and when I am bad

But even though I misunderstand

I know that they love me

I could always turn to them

When I am feeling weak in spirit

But I only need their company

No tricks necessary

Poetic Antic {Page 63}

Awake

These days I keep having the same dream

A dream that's elusive, something distant

No matter how much I want this dream to become reality

It always escapes my grasp, I only see it for an instant

I plan to do my everything, but I keep holding back

I don't know why this is so, why am I so hesitant

The future is something I long for, something I fear

My past is bleak, my present weak, I feel insignificant

Losing interest in life, love, and passion

I wonder when I changed, why am I inconsistent

This is annoying.

Poetic Antic {Page 62}

sparkling

One push and I opened up

One smile and I lose control

One kiss and I began to miss you

One heartbreak and I've had enough

There's really no time for this love

No time for nonsensical things

I'm sure things will be sorted out soon

Leave me alone, let me think for a while

No more bullshit, get away from me

I hate the you that make me so crazy

I despise me for feeling so into you

Somebody slap me back to reality

Poetic Antic {Page 61}

Wrong

I died five times today

Barely hanging on

Things are left undone

I'm doing my best

Put me to the test

Nothing amazing

Stitching up loose seams

No longer searching for the future

No longer living today to die

Everything will be clear soon enough

I lie, I hurt, I cry

I can't sing the song

I was wrong

Forgive me

Fuck it, who cares anyway

I'll forget, gradually

Day by day

Eventually I'll find myself

Right now I'm just putting pieces together

Next time, if we meet

Trust me, I'll be better

So go on with your life

Don't worry about me

I'll find my own way

Sometimes I hurry, but

I'm in no rush at all

Just excited

Smile

Poetic Antic {Page 60}

FIVE

Limited minutes of freedom

I've been over this more than I'm willing to tell

A minute passed by again

The start is a short wait

I have a little bit more to say

I need a little more time to play

But the road to my destination is dark

Better drop things while I still can

It's hard to stop, it never gets done

It's hard to start, it never is fun

It must be done, I tell myself

Even if it's not fun, I have to be quick

Poetic Antic {Page 59}

Wild

I heard the rumors you spread out there

Didn't think you had it in you, I swear

All this time I felt pity for you, I cared

Now I'm tired of your games, I'm spent

There are lots of reasons why I shouldn't stay

There are more reasons that urged me to leave

I really don't know what I should do

I know there's only one solution, I'm scared

I have things to tell you, you might want to listen

Just for a moment won't stop and shut it

Open your eyes, your heart, and your soul

Take a moment, tell me what you see in me

The room keeps quiet, and you are silent

This only means that I have not been accepted

I know this would happen, I felt it and feared it

But there's nothing like experiencing rejection in the flesh

No I'm not in a hurry to leave, though I truly abhor this

I've got nothing to worry over about anymore

I have been freed once more of this wretchedness

I shed no tears for fearful things and frightful monsters

I spread a rumor about your love, my dear

And how you broke my dreams, you see

Lots of times I've done good things

A stain on my record that's a price I'm willing to pay

You see, no one can say that I have not tried

Tried my best, my worst, and my everthing

All for the sake of this opportunity

Sorry you couldn't understand it properly

The world I live in, you live in too

I may not know who I am or what I want to be

But I know what I'm not and what I don't want to be

It's not near, but it's coming to me

This world is big and I'm small compared to it

My voice may be weak, but I speak up for myself just the same

You may not hear, nor care, nor know

Listen up space aliens, I'm back it's my show

Poetic Antic {Page 58}

Talk

What is with all these talk

About giving up

It's easy you say, don't be careless

It's hard to quit if I commit

If giving up is easy

Why do we even try

Why do we hide behind our aspirations

I would have never come here

Poetic Antic {Page 57}

Faster

I have to get moving

I have to get started

I finished some stuff

Still it is not enough

So many reasons in my head

So many urgent whims unattended

Important things get left behind

I'll try to come back

There is never enough time

Not today nor tomorrow

There's always something to be done

Always having no time for fun

I am binded by time passing by

It clinks and makes noise

I love the music it makes

I dance to whatever rhythm it makes

These shackles that bind me

Makes music I dance to

It sparkles in the morning

Blinding me from sanity

Poetic Antic {Page 56}

Just This Time

Reality is hitting me

Everywhere I go it follows me

I did not do anything

Nothing

It is hard to get a grip

When the walls are thick

And the bars are big

And the roads are slippery

It is hard to breathe

I think I might cry, but

I don't, I won't

I'm too fragile

I might break into pieces

I shudder to think I might miss it

This feeling is so shallow

My grip is starting to falter

I want to stop

Stop ignoring my problems

Stop thinking of the future

And do what I have to today.

Poetic Antic {Page 55}

Walls

If I could aim high and reach for my dreams

Why do I still feel trapped and cornered?

Why do I always hold back my screams?

All I want to do is move forward

Poetic Antic {Page 54}

Soon

A broken heart

Shattered, thrown away

A million sparkling shards

Reflecting love that cannot be

A time to say hello

Momentarily blissful existence

Caught in a tornado of emotions

Love for a blue rose blossomed

But the world keeps spinning

And people keep stealing

Once love was found

Easily it was lost

Poetic Antic {Page 53}

Just When I Thought

It had a certain ring to it

Sent sparks down my spine

I finally got a reply

And it was not what I wanted to hear

It made me think

It made me question

Am I just a friend?

Something I did not mention

I had accepted it already,

But you go on ahead and confuse me

What am I to you really?

What am I to you?

My heart is beating like crazy

I just pacified it moments ago,

But you interrupt my life like so

Do you even love me?

Can't I get even a maybe?

Poetic Antic {Page 52}

Not Again

Why is it always like this?

Ending nicely with a kiss?

Yes, it is something I miss

Only I do though, shit!

It starts out cool

It starts out chill

It starts out real good

It ends so weird

I guess it's true

I should stay single

It gets boring though

So sometimes I mingle

Poetic Antic {Page 51}

Strong

I knew it from the start

Yet I closed my eyes and leaped

Knowing full well that no one is waiting

No one will catch me when I fall

I've been told time and again

Princes are not for girls like me

I am a strong girl

I can handle life by myself

But here I am still waiting for my turn

Waiting to be saved from everything I know

Doesn't matter if I am weak or if I am strong

In the end I am still a girl

A girl who dreams of friendship and romance

Of everlasting life with the one

Loyal, eternal, and true

Everyday with that one

Even strong girls sit and pray

For the day to come

For the day to be saved

For us, the feeling is the same

Poetic Antic {Page 50}

Leap

I'm tired of all the inconsistencies

I'm done with all the assumptions

Kiss me goodbye darling

I've been told time and again

Someone else is in control

I waved them goodbye

There are times I don't even try

Those times I wish I could relive

But time moves forward not back

Where did I go?

Trapped in bitterness

Cold, lonely, and hopeful

What I need is a leap of faith

Poetic Antic {Page 49}

Our Days End

Singing songs out loud

I wonder why I'm dreaming

Better days and warmer nights

Kiss of fortune, lady luck

Lost in my thoughts

Anxiously waiting for something

Looking for some meaning

Very non-revealing

Caught in a situation

I was honest,

I was cold,

Icy

Seeing my reflection

Dancing in the dark

Moments like these fill my days

Ending with an ooh la la

Poetic Antic {Page 48}

September

Things happened so fast

I got what I wanted, it was given to me

I didn't even think it'd be

For me that was all a fantasy

I was shocked by the inquisition,

But deep inside I knew it was coming

I hoped and I prayed

And am thankful things went through my way

I'm wishing for something more

Something that would last,

But no matter what happens

I'm going to be the same way still

Going back, thinking things through

I couldn't say it then, what I wanted to say

I'm wondering if the thought ever occurred

Was it well thought of, was it meant?

Driving fast, racing with time

I kept falling with a never-ending desire

At the end, I wish I'd had courage

To say those words, I meant to say

My luck that day had been exhausted

And that's not all that I've wasted

September nights keep you warm,

but it will not shield your heart from harm.

Poetic Antic {Page 47}

So Close

I used to think things through,

But that changed when I met you.

We said sweet things to each other,

But that changed now that we aren't together.

You weren't given a choice,

But I know I'll soon hear your voice.

I know you have some other,

But you made it clear that I'm your lover.

You once asked me what I want,

But I never told you that you're what I want.

I am hopeful and some say quite naive,

But I can tell them that that's fine as longs as my happiness I can achieve.

Poetic Antic {Page 46}

Amore-ities

You're animosity to me

It burns, it heals, I'm real

I'm here, I feel the breeze

I feel some animosity

In me, inside, it's near

I'm real and you're a hoax

He thinks about animosity

Explicit love he wants from me

I hate to be that girl with you

She's lost herself in animosity

As if she can get in, anyway

I fear she's a little hazy

Poetic Antic {Page 45}

PURIFIED

scribbled my name on a piece of paper

ripped it and torched it

a million burning pieces colored my sky

filling my lungs with bitter smoke

taking my breath away.

Poetic Antic {Page 44}

Marble

I wish I could, someone should

Tell that I'm having the best day

It's very funny how people laugh

When things don't go as planned

Jumbled the keys in my pockets

Lost some money in the process

Paper bills trailing behind me

Hoping my prince would find it

Poetic Antic {Page 43}

New Love

The sun is shining happily

That is nothing new to me

It isn't like this unusually

It makes me smile with glee

I walk briskly in the grass

Feel the summer heat caress

The sun is shining happily

Strawberries ripen with glee

Fluffy clouds in the sky so high

Under the tree tops I lie

A fine day in June not July

Little Romance passed me by

Poetic Antic {Page 42}

One Fine June

I struggled to find a balance

Only asking for help once

Spun around blind-folded

Still I kept my head up high

Through adversity, I've been strong

No room for tears, fears, or weaknesses

It simply isn't suppose to be

That's the truth I have accepted

My heart is cold, my mind strong

I don't let fools change me otherwise

Poetic Antic {Page 41}

~ ~ ~ S p a r k s

The night is young and so are we

There is no need to hurry and worry

No need to stop looking for sparks

Farther and harder we search

I'm gaining back my sanity

Flashing lights color your face

My heart begins to dance

I want to relive this sense of high

Standing still at the edge of a cliff

You place your hand behind my neck

We swayed to the tune of the sparks

Thousand times we did this

Till dawn broke and our knees shook

Still we followed the bidding of the sparks

Keeping up is hard and we are a little tired

We stood still for a moment or two

Grabbed a drink and freshened up a bit

A few candid words later and that's when it hit

I never knew how your eyes brightly lit

Leading me close to your side always

Cupid sent us these sparks of interest.